cis woman, she/her pronouns please! i like roller derby, girls and birds.
you’re brushing your teeth when suddenly your mint toothpaste tastes like eggs. do you
a) power through and continue brushing
b) wash your mouth out
c) go to your fridge and get out the eggs and bite one to see if it tastes minty
I’ve never been happier to hear about people being scammed
As long as that police chief asshole isn’t the one with the money.
oh my god two words in that just UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE
All hope is lost so quickly I can’t stop laughing.
danish tv is the best thing ever
Amazingly, not The Onion:
“[W]e now have young men telling Bloomberg News that they basically view their female peers as rape bombs just waiting to explode and ruin their lives.”
I REPEAT: THIS IS NOT THE ONION
I wish I could say I can’t believe men would say such dumb shit.
Literally, go fuck yourselves. Bye.
Moan into my mouth while I finger you when we kiss.
rub your stomach while you pat your head
dont ask me for relationship advice because i will always just tell you to break up w/ them and throw their shit in a dumpster because i do not understand the concept of allowing anyone to treat you poorly this is a zero tolerance zone